FAQ

We're a small operation, and managing custom individual notes is a logistical nightmare. Besides, you should find a buddy to split the gift with. Don't hog all the credit - share the love! It's also more economical for you, we're looking out for your wallet here.

If we offended you, honestly, we're sorry. This vibe isn't for everyone. There are plenty of other platforms offering similar products that you can deliver in whatever boring way you choose.

Statistically speaking, and no, we didn't do the actual math - the language and gifts tend to appeal more to men. But look, if you like what we're doing, we are more than happy to take your money.

It is. Stereotypes are usually based on big numbers, but they aren't always true for everyone. If you're the anomaly, we're rooting for you!

Short answer: No. The roast is part of the package. If you really love the product but can't handle the heat, just pull the notes out of the box before you hand it over.

Three days. We're working as fast as we can. It's not our fault you scrolled your days away and waited until the last minute to find a gift! But seriously - it's three days.

Because they're actually good. We source premium products, pair them with custom notes, and package everything in a matte black box that looks like it means business. You're not paying for a gag gift - you're paying for something he'll keep and a delivery he'll remember.

Matte black box. First thing he sees is a note on top - that's the opener. He reads it, probably makes a face. Then he opens the box, finds the product (optionally wrapped in pink tissue paper), and a second note inside - that's the closer. It's a two-punch combo. The gift is the apology.

Every product comes with custom notes at three levels. Nice and Warm is a backhanded compliment - sounds sweet, then stings. Boiling Hot is a direct hit on his ego. Let It Burn is total character assassination, reserved for best friends with zero boundaries. You pick the level. We write the note.

Not yet. We're control freaks about quality. Our notes are crafted to land perfectly at each temperature. Custom notes are on the roadmap - but we'll probably still judge yours.

No. We roast things men can control - their skills, their ego, their questionable taste. We never punch down. The gift itself is premium enough to prove you actually care. The note just proves you know him.

A matte black box with two notes: one printed on the outside (the opener), one tucked inside (the closer). Between them, a product good enough that he can't be mad about it. Optional: pink wrapping paper, because nothing says 'I respect you' like tissue paper in his least favorite color.

U.S. only for now. We want to make sure every box arrives in roast-worthy condition before we go global.

If you're second-guessing, go one level down. Nice and Warm still lands. There's no undo on a friendship-ending note - and we're not taking the blame for that.

If the product arrives damaged or defective, we'll replace it. If your friend's feelings arrived damaged, that's between you two.

An optional upgrade. We wrap his gift in pink tissue paper because we thought it would be funny. It is. Add it for $5.

Email us at hello@pettygifts.com. We respond like a friend who actually gives a damn - just with slightly better grammar.